Gwador
by Gemstarzah
Summary: For one Noldorin elf, there are some pains time cannot heal


It was a noisy table that evening when he joined his family for dinner. Noisy, because the twins were busy telling their current foster brother about their travels outside the valley. His sons had only just returned in from the wilds, and Elrond knew they had been missed. For him, however, the noise was an irritation in some ways. Perhaps it was best he just listened to them for the moment.

"You wouldn't believe the creatures we saw this time," Elladan was saying.

"Bigger than this house in height," Elrohir said.

"We felt like a pair of dwarves in comparison to it."

"What kind of creature?" Estel asked a look of confusion on his very young face.

"An oliphant!" Both twins spoke at once.

Elrond looked over at them now, a warning in his eyes.

"Where was it?"

'You're not going outside this valley for a long time to come, Estel. It's too dangerous for you," Elrond spoke now.

"One day, Estel, you might get to see one, but, ada's right," Elladan said. "Those things are so huge, they wouldn't realise you were there, before standing on you."

"Though of course, we didn't get that close," Elrohir added.

Even Elrond knew how dangerous an Oliphant could be. They were not creatures to be messed with.

"Just where were you when you saw these creatures?" Elrond asked, he had to know where these huge beasts were.

If they were a danger to Imladris, he had to know so he could deal with it.

"Several days ride from here, we followed them for a while, ada," Elrohir replied.

"They were heading toward the Anduin. We saw them cross it and move from sight, still heading east, ada," Elladan added.

Elrond exhaled in relief, it was good to know there was no threat coming from the creatures. He rose.

"I will see you all tomorrow."

He walked back to his chambers, his heart feeling very heavy now. The hole in his heart, ancient in years now since it had happened, had very much come back into his awareness. A hole that had only been filled by one person, now long since gone to walk the path of deceased mortal men.

While his brother's descendants could temporarily fill that hole, he was never able to travel to say goodbye to them when they died. He had done it once, when he was a lot younger. Elrond couldn't do it any more, for each time, it only tore at his heart more.

As it was, the last of the farewells had not been long ago. Only seven years had passed since Arathorn had fallen.

 _He walked amongst the Dúnedain of one of the larger encampments. He'd been invited here to meet the current chieftain's newborn son._

 _Arathorn, the current chieftain, had always been a good friend. Elrond had noticed even from a very young age, that the young man had shown the same interest in the elves as his ancestor, Elendil. Unlike some of his forefathers, Arathorn had been more eager than some to learn all about Númenor and his ancestry._

 _It was a shame that the same interest wasn't always there, but when it was, Elrond delighted in teaching them._

 _Several decades had passed since Elrond had last had any of the Dúnedain living in Imladris, growing up amongst the elves. While this Arathorn was the second Arathorn to have grown up in Imladris, he had shown more interest than his great grandfather._

 _Though other humans, not descended from Númenorians, considered a man in his late fifth decade to be getting old, Elrond knew Arathorn was young in the eyes of the Dúnedain. Most of them lived well past the first century. Thanks to his long lost brother's elven heritage._

 _Elrond smiled when at last he saw a young woman coming toward him with a baby in her arms._

 _"Mae govannen, Lady Gilraen," he said, greeting her._

 _"We knew you would come, Lord Elrond. It's good to see you again."_

 _Elrond chuckled lightly._

 _"When there is a need for me to be here, I will always come."_

 _Whether they merely wanted to talk to him, or there was some sort of wisdom they sought, he would always come to see them. He would always help them._

 _"Is this the little one, is it?"_

 _Gilraen smiled._

 _"Yes, this is our son, Aragorn."_

Elrond sighed at the memory that had come, unbidden to the front of his mind. Of late, his mind had often gone back to those who had been closer to him over the years since his brother had passed away. While a long time had passed since his twin had died, Elrond knew there was no chance he would ever forget that fateful day when a simple choice had parted them forever.

 _It had only been a few days since the Valar had told Elrond and his brother that they had to choose where they belonged in the world. They had to choose which race they would be a part of._

 _After hearing that they had to make such a choice, the High-King had told them that they should make their own choice as individuals. For he believed each of them would know where they belonged, but wouldn't be able to figure out what their brother would choose._

 _Elrond sighed._

 _I was able to forgive Maglor and Maedhros for the things they've done. He knew that his brother never had been able to, indeed his brother had seemed even more incensed about the worse side of the elves of late._

 _Elrond knew that was due to all the things Morgoth had brought down upon those here in Lindon, but, somehow, he didn't doubt there was something else that fuelled Elros' thoughts when it came to life._

 _Now, he had found his brother, sitting up in his favourite tree._

 _"Can I join you, gwador?" he called._

 _"Sure, El," came the reply._

 _Elrond climbed up, to sit on a branch close to his twin brother. There was something in his younger brother's expression that made Elrond realise that Elros had made his choice!_

 _"You've decided, haven't you, 'Ros?"_

 _Elros nodded._

 _"I will not live forever, El. To linger on through the ages, to remember always the things that we have seen in our lives." He sighed. "It's not for me."_

 _Elrond's shoulders slumped. He felt a sharp stabbing feeling inside, as though his heart was breaking. This was as he had feared indeed._

 _"Then with time, we shall be parted, 'Ros, as I chose to remain with the elves."_

That day had been so very long ago. Elrond still keenly felt that ache of his brother's passing when the day came about each year. He knew it was a pain he would take with him across the Sundering Seas when the time came for him to leave Middle-Earth.

Now, he sat on his bed feeling so very tired. So very sore and from all the millennia that had passed since that day.

 _To think it's been just under six millennia since I lost you._

 _Elrond stood and watched as a younger human came toward them. He stood beside where the High-King sat on his throne, waiting to see what word his brother had sent this time to Lindon. Long had it been since there was word brought of Elros, and Elrond had learnt to hide his disappointment when there was no message for him from his beloved brother._

 _Four centuries ago, Elros had sailed to Númenor, and he had not come back to visit since that day. He had sent word, when there was a need, but he never returned himself. It had become something the elves were used to. While Elrond knew his brother was busy ruling his people, he had hoped to see him again._

 _"It is good to see a visitor from Númenor once more. What can we do for you?"_

 _The High-King spoke, and Elrond turned his attention toward the visitor, eager to hear what word came from Númenor._

 _"Númenor grows in strength by the year High-King Gil-Galad, but, I'm afraid that there is sorrow to be felt soon amongst our people," the messenger said. "It is well that you are here as well, Lord Elrond, as the message I have is primarily for you. My King asks that you come to visit, and says that you should not delay."_

 _Elrond's eyes widened. Is it really that time for my brother already? Is this why he sends for me? Quickly he looked at the High-King._

 _"Go, Elrond. I can spare you for a while. I know you need to see your brother again, and I will not stop you, my friend."_

 _Elrond nodded._

 _"Then I will go."_

 _A week passed before the ship that he had travelled back on reached the port in Númenor. Elrond looked around as he got off the ship. The buildings were elegantly carved, but there was a human essence to them that unnerved him. People were starting to stare at him as he travelled through the great city to the palace._

 _Waiting near the entrance, outside the palace doors, were several people. Three men, all formally dressed: one was young; with dark black hair; The one beside him had greying hair, that showed hints of the black it used to be; The last... Elrond froze as his eyes beheld him. Despite the whitened hair, the milked-over grey eyes, Elrond recognised him alone._

 _"Gwador."_

 _The word slipped from his mouth before he realised he had spoken it. How the years had changed his brother's appearance. While he, Elrond had remained the same, still young in looks, Elros looked ancient._

Coming back to the present was not easy for Elrond now. He remembered that he had been so very shocked to see the differences his brother had gone through, and while he was pleased to meet his nephew and great nephew, Elrond's thoughts had been sorrowful throughout his visit to the land that his brother ruled.

 _Neither of us knew it would be this hard to linger on after the other was gone._

Elrond walked through his room out onto the balcony.

 _I wish I had known this was all that would await me when you chose so differently to me._ To endure through the ages, to know that he would never talk to Elros again, was a great burden to carry.

 _Another year has come to pass…_

He knew that in the morning, he would feel better, but tonight, he felt just miserable. Broken in a way that no one else could understand; not even Glorfindel, who also had lost so much.


End file.
